I was given a book after my divorce by a friend and co-worker who had listened to me complain, cry, and rant all through my long, drawn-out divorce proceedings that left me devastated and broken. At the time; I felt like I was hurt beyond repair and was worthless. Thank God for caring friends who know otherwise. Since then I have also given this book to 4 other women who I thought could benefit from it. Including Tasha who I thought could benefit from it's wisdom at one point in her life. It's a daily collection of small tidbits of wisdom from a vast variety of people with an expanded explanation by the author with the intent to raise your self-esteem. Example: It's sad not to be loved,but it's much sadder not to be able to love. Miguel de Unamuno
What is more crushing than to be loved with someone who is either not in love with you, or who simply does not have the skills necessary for a healthy relationship? Either case is a self-esteem killer. No matter how you try to take care of yourself, or work your program, one way love is a misery as long as it last. It hurts to reach out to someone who won't or can't reach back. Even if we know the loved ones chemical use or other unintended emotional impairment is the real reason behind the rejection, it's still rejection and it still hurts. Even if we rightly say "it's his problem" it's still our pain that we have to deal with. Depending on the situation, what can and must be done varies greatly. What doesn't vary is the sad fact that we can't make someone else love us, no matter how hard we try. No matter many extra miles we are willing to go, if the other won't move an inch either. Until we can accept that and achieve some detachment, we'll be stuck right where we are. The conclusion by the author: Others have survived doomed love relationships and so can I.
Even though I may not read every day's reading this year I'm sure to read it another year. The book is called Believing in Myself. Daily Meditations for Healing and Building Self-esteem. By Earnie Larsen and Carol Hegarty. ISBN 978-0-671-76616-0
I highly recommend this book. It's my go-to book when I'm feeling blue and defeated.
Thanks Momma Duke! That book is amazing! Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. We internalize the enemies lies, and he tells us that we aren't anything special and are not worth loving. He constantly throws those lies at us because if we forget that our identity is found in God, then we forget how powerful we truly are in Christ. Especially when we team up with other Christians. We were meant to have life, and life abundantly (John 10:10). Thank you for being so brave and transparent in sharing your story. When we are vulnerable with others, it destroys the enemies ability to keep us alone and isolated. At times I struggle with seasons where I feel like nobody cares, but then I have to stop and remind myself that is a lie straight from hell. A helpful exercise that has helped me is to stop and write out my feelings verses the facts of any situation I am in. It helps me get out of my feelings and give the situation back to God. And of course daily reading with helpful books like Believing in Myself. Such a great recommendation. Thanks!